Would YOU take back a man that broke your heart?
We’ve all been dumped (and if you haven’t been, then sorry, but you need to be — it’s a learning experience) and all cried into our tequila/red wine/tea thinking we’d never recover. I’m not saying that this happens often, but sometimes – just sometimes – as soon as we’ve nearly recovered from the shock and horror of it all, the bastard decides he wants you back! But does he deserve your forgiveness?
It depends on the situation. Guys, essentially, are dumbasses. They don’t operate like we do. And if a guy happens to live in New York City, (I know from personal experience, having lived there) he’s usually looking for the next best thing. So say you’re a New Yorker who’s just been given the boot from her banker boyfriend. He dates around, realizes that he doesn’t feel like being back out there to fend of women who just want him for his money, and runs back to you, begging you to take him back. Do you do it? NO. You tell him to go to hell — you’re no one’s consolation prize!
Of course, there’s always the exception to the rule. If you’ve broken up because you were in a long-distance relationship and suddenly find yourselves in the same city, well, that’s one exception. If you’re young and needed to play the field before you determined whether you were really right for one another, that’s another. But for the most part, you are the rule, not the exception.
Unfortunately, most of us like to think of ourselves as the exception. We like to believe that we are special, that our situation is different. But I’ve got some sad news for you, ladies — usually it isn’t. If a guy has dumped you, like Greg Behrendt drove home in the book He’s Just Not That Into You, he had his reasons — and you shouldn’t consider taking him back or falling into his arms again.
Let me repeat it: unless it’s actually true love, ladies, he doesn’t deserve a second chance (and you’ll know if’s real love if he makes a grand gesture — like driving 200 miles to see you when he realized he had hurt your feelings, as Jake Gyllenhaal ‘reportedly’ just did for Taylor Swift (grain of salt here please, but it sounded so When Harry Met Sally that I just had to include it). You owe that to yourself. He was a painful learning experience — but you’ll only be causing yourself more pain in the long run if you return to his duplicitous arms. As Aretha Franklin said, it’s all about R-E-S-P-E-C-T – so have some for yourself.