When you keep in touch with your past loves, are you causing yourself more pain or is this a good way of coping?

He smashed your heart into tiny little pieces and then has the gall to actually mean it when he says he wants to be friends. Do you accept your ex-boyfriend’s crumbs and accept him back into your life, or do you sever all ties?

Jennifer Aniston was actually the catalyst for this post, because of a statement she recently made of her multiple exes (including that bastard Brad Pitt, who cheated on her and then left her for Angelina Jolie) in People magazine. “I keep in touch with them. I have no animosity towards any of them,” America’s best Friend said, adding, “I think if you let proper time go by, you should. You spent quality time together and meant something to one another. It’s not like somebody died — you’re all still on the planet!”

Er, yeah. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that he died than to remain besties under false pretenses, especially when you loathe the bitch that came after you (come on — you’re telling me Jen doesn’t want to shoot poison dagger darts and physically deflate Angie’s puffy Mick Jagger lips?).

Really, why would you actively want to have lengthy phone chats or cozy coffee dates with your ex? That’s like saying everything he did was OK, that you forgive him for being a bastard. And while being cool, accepting and seemingly having moved on is a cool way of operating, as is trying to be the bigger person, shame on you for allowing him back into your life when the relationship isn’t at all on your terms.

Seriously, when you agree to this ‘friends’ malarky — and stick to it —  you know you’re never going to find equal footing. Your ex was never your friend – he was your lover, your partner. There is a difference, you know.

The best advice I can give is to sever all ties if you were really in love and finding it difficult to get over him. Erase his number. Delete him as a Facebook friend. Get rid of him on Twitter. You don’t want to forget that the relationship existed, as everything in life is a lesson learned, but you DO want to stop him from causing you pain — which won’t happen if you’re constantly checking his Facebook page to check up on him.

Remember, there is absolutely no reason to hold on to something that causes you pain. You deserve better…don’t you?

Laura xo

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13 Responses
  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by TheLoveTrekker, Laura Schreffler. Laura Schreffler said: Why do women keep their exes around??? http://tinyurl.com/4jfqagu [...]

  2. Carolyn says:

    Is it just me, or are those girl’s boobs in that picture kind of wonky?

  3. Carolyn says:

    P.S. I hope they’re not anyone you know’s! Yours are perfect, of course :)

  4. Coy Arrizaga says:

    thanks, very well written post, found it through a random google search and i shared it on my facebook

  5. [...] So, you know the situation sounds pretty dire. But what should you actually DO if your man is sniffing around his ex? [...]

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  7. [...] it for the right reasons. But if she’s simply doing it because she thinks it’s going to fix what’s broken, well, sorry sister, but it won’t [...]

  8. [...] is cozying up to your BFF’s ex a no-go? Kind of. If things between them ended badly, she’s going to feel that your [...]

  9. [...] His Ex-Factor If a guy you’re dating knows, to the day, how long he’s been broken up with his ex, he’s likely still in love with, or at least hung up on, her. You don’t want that kind of [...]

  10. [...] a Catholic family, and vice versa, and think it’s appalling that love, of all things, could break people apart. But I am not a religious person. I have sat inside a church, synagogue and Quaker meeting; one day, [...]

  11. [...] “Shake it Off”, “I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind, I can never leave the past behind.” And I don’t want [...]

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    » Blog Archive » If He Broke Your Heart, Should An Ex Be X’d Out Of Your Life?…

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