If you’re down in the dumps or nothing seems to be going right, blame the stars

It’s normal to have a terrible day sometimes, when all you want to do is crawl under the covers with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, turn your phone off and watch back-to-back episodes of My So-Called Life or Sex & the City until you pass out. However, it is also normal to have three-week stints where nothing goes your way — and that includes your love life. This, my friends, is what happens when the planet Mercury goes retrograde which is why you may have the ‘mean reds’ (as Audrey Hepburn said in Breakfast at Tiffany‘s) right this very second. But what does this mean and how does it affect you?

If you don’t follow astrology, you probably won’t be reading this post…but you should be. I was chatting to my friend Dana this afternoon who was really, really down in the dumps, and didn’t know why. I’ve been feeling the same exact way lately, and I matter-of-factly informed her (and she isn’t the biggest star sign supporter there is, FYI) exactly why she was feeling so blue. She may not have been before, but she’s a believer now.

Mercury goes retrograde three to four times per year, and those times severely suck. Basically, the smallest planet causes the most problems. Mercury rules communication, and when it goes retrograde, everything goes wrong. You’ll have technological malfunctions, you won’t land a job you wanted (or if you do you won’t get exactly everything you want in the contract), you’ll fight with your friends. Worst of all, it impedes your love life. That guy that was so into you just days before it went on its downward spiral will suddenly pretend you’re chopped liver or decide he’d rather be single than the love of your life.

Although some astrologers describe Mercury in retrograde as a time of “review”, my good friend Susan Miller is more pragmatic about it. On her website, Astrologyzone, she’ll be straight up about telling you that things won’t go your way — but that things will improve when Mercury is done being a brat.

So when is it over? Fortunately for this time of year, it’s almost — but not quite — done. This period of utter pandemonium has been going on since March 30th and ends April 23rd. However, it crops up again two more times in 2011: August 2nd to 26th and December 13th until the early days of 2012.

So chin up. As I told Dana, it’s almost over. In ten days, your world will be a happy place yet again. So don’t do anything rash, like drunkenly make a love confession to the guy who used to be into you. There’s a good chance he’ll come crawling back — after April 23rd, that is.

Laura xo

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4 Responses
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