Why shouldn’t we have a day where we observe all that we’ve learned from the ghosts of relationships past?
Memorial Day – an American holiday commemorating those who died in the military — is so important that most of us get a day off of work in its honor. Which, obviously, made me think about love (my mind works in messed up ways, OK? Deal with it). Why don’t we have an unofficial day honoring the deaths of past relationships? It’s important to see how far we’ve come and how much we’ve learned from the mistakes made along the way in order to move forward.
I’ve had four major relationships in my life; and only consider one (which occurred in my mid-twenties) to be an unhappy accident. However, I’m happy I’ve had all, even if none worked out. Why? They were all learning experiences. Through each love affair, I now definitively know what I don’t want. Knowing what I do want? Well, let’s just say that I have a lot more growing to do.
Anyway, the point of this hypothetical ‘Relationship Memorial Day’ isn’t to look back on the past and wish for what might have been. It’s not to beat yourself up for having jumped the gun with a boyfriend and pressuring him into something he wasn’t ready for, or getting furious all over again that you caught him cheating. This is a day to congratulate yourself on the fact that you have survived heartbreak, that you’re longer in a bad situation, that you’re on the road to finding the right one because you’ve put yet another Mr. Right Now behind you.
So close your eyes and envision your exes. Sift through the reality of your relationships, not the fine patina of fantasy that has settled like dust on their memories. Take that moment of silence; let them go.
Now open your eyes. You’ve got some living — and loving – to do.