What turns guys off? One author thinks he knows

We’ve all screwed up when it comes to our love lives. We’ve drunk-dialed, we’ve been clingy, we’ve been jealous — all of which are turn-offs. But what are the worst things we do and why are they so heinous?

Dr. Kenneth Ryan, author of Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads: How to Find a Quality Guy Without Getting Your Heart Shredded, has compiled a list of what he finds to be epic female dating fails. It’s supposed to be helpful. Well, you be the judge. Read his  admonishments and tell me what you think!  

# 1 Don’t Be Too Passive – “Some women feel helpless and hopeless because few men have shown interest in them. They sit alone at home hoping Prince Charming will one day knock on the door. There are many ways a woman can improve her connections with guys and make herself more appealing. They are not helpless or hopeless.”

#2 Don’t Be Too Aggressive -”Women who come on too strong look desperate and may scare off quality guys. Predatory males look for desperate women because they will do almost anything to get a guy. Learn how to engage men without coming on too strong.”

#3 Don’t Be Naive About Men – “If a woman does not understand the huge difference between men and women when it comes to sex and relationships, she will get burned. If most of her guidance for relationships comes from popular media and peers, she is working from a position of ignorance. Movie makers couldn’t care less about your life. They just want your $14 movie ticket.”

#4 Don’t Panic – “Women become so fearful that they will never find a guy who loves them that they abandon their convictions and make irrational, dangerous decisions. Some painful effects are immediate, while some might not surface for years.”

#5 Don’t Sleep with the Boyfriend – “Every woman must make her own decision and it is a huge decision. This is the most common and most harmful mistake. It causes an avalanche of problems, many that the woman does not anticipate. Sex with a boyfriend might seem romantic or exhilarating but there are hidden fangs that will cut deep. You can’t put a condom on your heart.”

OK, I admit, Dr. Ken Doll had me with the “don’t panic” and “don’t be naive” advice, but who in their right mind would say something so cheese-ass lame as “you can’t put a condom on your heart”? And why wouldn’t you want to sleep with your boyfriend (unless, of course, you’re 15 and happen to be reading this — then just say no!)? Good God, man!

The bottom line is that women and men make mistakes when it comes to love, but men care less. If something doesn’t work out, they simply shrug it off and chalk it up a life lesson learned, while we tend to sit and ruminate and why our relationships failed.

Do what feels right for you. If you have to put too much thought or effort into dating a guy, he — or the relationship itself — probably isn’t right for you. That’s all I’m saying. When it’s right, it’s right…and you’ll know it.

Laura xo

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
13 Responses
  1. Carolyn says:

    Wait is he saying not to have sex ever? Like until marriage? That advice seems very outdated and ignorant!

  2. [...] but if it gets this far you’re going to have to talk the talk with your man. You already know it’s bad, so prepare yourself if he feeds you that old line “I’m just not ready for something [...]

  3. [...] Blog Archive » The Top 5 Dating Mistakes We Make + Why We Make Them [...]

  4. [...] be honest: Angelina Jolie is going to do what Angelina Jolie wants. But clearly even she has made mistakes before. So should you do as Angie did and get ink for you [...]

  5. [...] I so impressed by Selena? Well, it’s one thing for your man to adore you, but if his parents don’t approve, it’s eventually going to cause problems. By hanging out independently with his family [...]

  6. [...] the thing: when we’re growing up, we’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to mess up, we’re going to get our heart broken. Our parents think they [...]

  7. [...] They’re good ones. Be specific with what you want, and your dating situation will change. You will change. And you will — finally — get what you want by getting on the right [...]

  8. Are you an older girl with a cougar attitude?

  9. Dating says:

    You’ve got great insights about Dating, Sex, Relationsip, Love, Man, Woman,, keep up the good work!

  10. [...] in a full-on Monet kind of way. True, we are all flawed. That’s the beauty of life, no? Making mistakes and learning from them is how we grow. But cheating, to me at least, isn’t ‘trying your best.’ End [...]

  11. [...] I don’t think we should suffer for the things we’ve done in the past. Whether you’ve slept with two people or twenty in the past, it’s how you conduct yourself in the present and future that’s important. If, as a 30-year-old woman, you’re still having nothing but one-night stands, well, then maybe you need to reassess your situation. With wisdom comes age, but everyone is allowed to make a few mistakes. [...]

  12. [...] want to forget the men that I’ve loved. Remembering is what helps you to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again, what helps you to grow as a person. How can you give your heart fully to the right person if [...]

  13. [...] would live my life to its fullest without regretting the mistakes I made or the things I had done. I would take chances. I wouldn’t want to sweat the small stuff, [...]

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>