Elisabetta Canalis hinted she wanted to get married after two YEARS of dating. How could this scare George Clooney off?

George Clooney could easily get any damn woman in the world that he wants, but he tends to have monogamous, long-lasting relationships. He was married to Talia Balsam for four years, dated French waitress Celine Balitran from 1996-1999, British model Lisa Snowdon in 2001 and again in 2004; he was with soap opera actress Krista Allen in between the Snowdon years from 2002-2004. He then dated Las Vegas waitress Sarah Larson from 2006-2009 before settling on Italian TV host Elisabetta Canalis from 2009-2011. These women all have two common bonds: they are very, very beautiful and they have all been dumped by Clooney after asking for more of a commitment. Bastard!

Now, ol’ orange-faced Georgie-pie (it’s true, he looks like a pumpkin in person) has said in interviews that he’ll never walk down the aisle again after things went sour with Talia, but that was 18 years ago when he was a young cub of 32. If he’s firmly refusing to ever get married again, does that mean that he isn’t fully giving himself to any of these women? That’s just sad.

We can’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but I’m sure the star doesn’t come with a warning label on his lapel reading: “Caution. This man won’t marry you, so don’t even ask.” Maybe his girls don’t ask, and just anticipate that they’re going to love him so much that he’d just have to pop the question. When a ring doesn’t materialize, perhaps they make themselves sick with worry before they timidly say, “Have you ever thought about, you know, settling down?” To which George laughs his movie star laugh and flashes his artificially whitened teeth and says huskily, “Yes, my love. I have thought about it. And I think it ain’t gonna happen. So you can stay, sleep with me and enjoy the perks of my fame — like that gorgeous mansion in Lake Como you’ve been hanging out at — or you can piss off.”

At least, that’s how I’d imagine it would go.

Unfortunately for the stunning Elisabetta, she made a cataclysmic gaff when she gave an interview to an Italian magazine just a few short weeks ago. “Who knows what will happen?” she said. “I am a firm believer in marriage, in the future I will be married, but for the time being I am happy as I am. I don’t need anything to confirm how happy I am.” However, she also noted, “I could never be with someone who every time he opens his mouth says he doesn’t want a child with me or to marry me.”

Yup. She pressed the issue, and didn’t get the answer she wanted.

Although I know a relationship where you have to force the issue is never one that’s right, I ask you this: how does his fear of commitment become her fault? Every single stupid headline I’ve read regarding the demise of their relationship wonders “Did Elisabetta scare George away?” or “Elisabetta’s wish to walk down the aisle made George run in the other direction!” Why is no one faulting Clooney?

Is it just because he’s an American sweetheart, and so charming that nothing he can say or do would be wrong? Or is it because there’s a world of jealous harpies out there who think Elisabetta wasn’t good enough for him?

George isn’t such a prize. Sure, he looks hot in a monkey suit, but then, so do most guys when you scrub them up well. He’s got an Oscar and he’s the mayor of Hollywood, but who really gets a flying rats ass? Big whoop! Poor Elisabetta — a onetime journalist — was reduced to nothing but arm candy when she was with him. She ceased to be her own person and became “George Clooney’s Girlfriend” instead. How does a designer dress and countless expensive vacations make up for the fact that you’ve lost your sense of self and your soul is quietly being sucked out?

“You should’t have rushed him, he wasn’t ready” I hear women say to other women all the time. But you know what? It’s often the case that when a guy isn’t ready, he’s never going to be ready…to be with you. And yes, you can tell — we just choose to ignore the signs.

But let’s stop blaming the woman, OK? Elisabetta Canalis did nothing wrong in admitting she was in love after two freakin’ years of dating, or by expressing her desire to tie the knot. “But she lost him” you protest. Well, ladies, Elisabetta isn’t getting any younger. If she wanted marriage and he didn’t, then it was always going to be an issue — and she would have given him her best years (which are your 30s, if you must know). She was always going to lose him.

Why? Wild bastard beasts can’t be tamed. We just don’t have to be the ones who date them.

Laura xo

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2 Responses
  1. ScMona says:

    Why should George Clooney get married if he doesn’t want to????
    Maybe he knows himself at age 50….maybe he doesn’t plan on having kids a la David Letterman….maybe he thinks his assets including his money are his own….maybe after 5 decades he knows (bad as it seems) that he gets bored after 3-4 years.
    Date at your own risk ladies….George’s history is its own warning label.
    p.s. George Clooney is a lot more than an Oscar winning actor and ‘mayor of Hollywood’. He has one of the most charitable hearts in Lala land and has done much to stop human rights atrocities around the world.

  2. [...] is doomed. That’s not the case. But if he doesn’t at least make you happy, then I would reassess how much you really need this particular guy in your [...]

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