Here are some words of wisdom from LoveTrekker’s guest columnist, the Garter Brides
Whether you’re jumping back into the dating world after a divorce or you never left it in the first place, dating after 35 is a completely different experience. Your needs, wants and deal-breakers in a mate change when you realize what’s really important. Still it can be difficult if not scary to go back re-enter the dating world after years of being married. Will he get along with my kids? Can I really find the love of my life online? What if I make more money than him? All the what-if and what-about questions are sure to be running through your head as you open yourself up to new dating possibilities.
1. Divide and Conquer: If you go out with your girlfriends to meet men, whether at a lounge or a friend’s dinner party…fan out and circulate. Men are more likely to approach you if you’re alone, and you’re more likely to focus on him and the conversation at hand if you’re not being sidetracked by who’s around you. It may be more comfortable to be surrounded by your friends but if your end goal is to meet someone, be daring and venture away from the pack! Later you can regroup and talk about the guys you met.
2. Keep your intentions clear: Remember to ask yourself, ‘What do I really want?’ At this stage in your life you’ve figured out what’s really important in a spouse, including your needs, wants and deal-breakers. Once you know that you’ll be able to express those feelings to your new mate. If getting married and building a life is your long-term goal, don’t waste your time on relationships of convenience and safety.
3. You both want the same thing: The good news is that everyone you meet in Internet dating is looking for someone- they want to find out about you just as much as you want to find out about them! Don’t be afraid to ask questions and take your time meeting him. Sure ‘it’s just coffee’ but sometimes you can find out you don’t really click with someone if you spend a more time emailing or just talking on the phone. When you do meet him, make sure your friends/family know where you are and give yourselves time to get to know each other before you start dating in private settings.
4. Give it time: You’ll have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince, so don’t give up after a few bad dates. If you’re feeling down about it, take a break- and then get back to it. Cheer yourself on, and get your friends to cheer you on. Give it time and keep at it!
The Garter Brides xo
To pre-order Love For Grown-ups: How to Marry for Life When You’ve Already Got a Life by Tish Rabe, Ann Blumenthal Jacobs & Patricia Ryan Lampi click here