Do you agree that there’s a total lack of originality when it comes to romantic moves from men these days? Check out this guide to the meanings of other love-related flowers

This post should come with a big, fat biohazard sticker, because I already know there’s going to be some haters out there who will read this incredulously and ponder aloud, “What the hell in she complaining about?” I have never been, nor will I ever be, a fan of the rose. If I personally receive roses, or if a colleague’s boyfriend has a super ostentatious bunch sent to her desk, or if a friend’s boyfriend says ‘I’m sorry’ with said flowers, I’m unimpressed. Roses are so unoriginal. Yet, the meaning of flowers stay the same around the world — and no matter where you are, there will be blooms that convey a particular emotion. So what can he send you if you’re as bored by the conventional and unimaginative as I am?

Dorothy Parker hit the nail on the head when she sighed in her poem “One Perfect Rose”, “Why is it no one ever sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it’s always just my luck to get one perfect rose.” Yes, she and I are grousing about a perfectly sweet romantic gesture, but a man who sends nothing but perfection is one who follows a textbook, cookie-cutter guide to what women want. Some men even send roses after they’ve cheated as a guilt thing, because they know an expensive-looking arrangement that means “love and passion” will make their harangued other half swoon.

Orange Lily = I burn for you

Am I being harsh? Yes. But in my defense, I am not one of those girls that expects presents from a man. “Trade up” or “I’ll only date a guy with money” or “His best feature? Well, it’s green…” have never rested upon my lips. I live in Los Angeles — trust me, I hear these things from women on a daily basis, and I find them absolutely abhorant. But for whatever reason, roses rub me the wrong way. As cheesy as it sounds, I’d rather have a guy pick me a daisy (and now the inner hippie so few of you know about is being outed) or even a goddamned dandelion — and you know what those are, right? Weeds. But weeds, apparently, that are considered to be “love’s oracle”, so apparently I’m on the right track.

Tulip = Perfect lover

But listen, I know men lack imagination when it comes to girlie things. It’s the whole Venus-Mars conundrum. Which is why I’ve created a helpful little guide rife with floral meanings so they have options, other ways of saying, “I love you” or “You complete me” without having to actually purchase something so conventional that you’ll find them in every single dumpy supermarket or corner bodega.

Calla Lily = Magnificent beauty

Anyway, here’s how he can say it with flowers and make you sigh with happiness while still being unique!

THE  FLOWER POWER GUIDE

  • Abutus = I love only you
  • Acacia (yellow) = Secret love
  • Althea = Consumed by love
  • Ambrosia = Your love is reciprocated
  • Anthurium = Lover
  • Astilbe = I’ll still be waiting
  • Azalea = Love, romance, first love
  • Balsam = Ardent love
  • Calla Lily = Magnificent beauty (also associated with the sixth wedding anniversary)
  • Camellia (pink) = Longing for you
  • Camellia (red) = You’re a flame in my heart
  • Camellia (white) = You’re adorable
  • Carnation (pink) = I’ll never forget you
  • Carnation (red) = My heart aches for you
  • Carnation (white) = Innocence, pure love
  • Carnation (yellow) = You disappointed me
  • Carnation (striped) = Refusal
  • Chrysanthemum (red) = I love you
  • Chrysanthemum (yellow) = Slighted love
  • Clover, four-leaf = Be mine
  • Cowslip = Grace, beauty
  • Cyclamen = Resignation & goodbye
  • Daisy = Innocence, loyal love
  • Dandelion = Faithfulness, happiness, love’s oracle
  • Fleur-de-lis = Flame
  • Forget-me-not = True love
  • Gardenia = I love you in secret
  • Gloxinia = Love at first sight
  • Heliotrope = Devotion, eternal love
  • Hibiscus = Delicate beauty
  • Honeysuckle = Bonds of love
  • Hyacinth (purple) = Please forgive me
  • Iris (yellow) = Passion
  • Ivy = Fidelity, wedded love
  • Ixia = Happiness
  • Jasmine = I attach myself to you, sensuality
  • Jonquil = Desire for affection returned
  • Lady’s Slipper = Capricious beauty
  • Lady’s Smock  = Ardor
  • Larkspur (purple) = First love
  • Lemon Blossoms = Faithful love
  • Lily (white) = It’s heavenly to be with you
  • Lily (orange) = I burn for you
  • Lily of the Valley = Love’s good fortune, happiness, you’ve made my life complete
  • Lotus = Estranged love
  • Mistletoe = Affection & love
  • Morning Glory = Affection, loves you, associated with the eleventh wedding anniversary
  • Myrtle = Love
  • Orange Blossom = Eternal love
  • Orchid = Rare beauty, love
  • Paperwhite = Aphrodisiac
  • Pear Blossoms = Affection
  • Peony = Happy marriage
  • Primrose = I cannot be without you
  • Spider Flower = Elope with me
  • Tulip (general) = Perfect lover
  • Tulip (red) = Declaration of love
  • Tulip (variegated) = Enchantment
  • Tulip (yellow) = Hopeless & perfect love
  • Virginia Creeper = I cling to you
  • Withered Flowers = Rejected love
  • Zinnia (pink) = Lasting affection

And there you have it! There’s just one, final thing to say…Sorry, Dorothy, but why ask for a limo when you could have a lily?

Laura xo

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13 Responses
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