And furthermore, do you like that about your city, you dirty bird you?
According to Dictionary.com ‘kinky’ the definition of ‘kinky’ is ‘Involving or given to unusual sexual behavior.’ It is an adjective. It means you like weird sex.
Sure, that probably includes handcuffs, and vibrating underwear and trying out every position in the karma sutra (like the acrobat, bumper cars, the pile driver and prison guard, to name a few). Everybody’s got their something, different strokes for different folks and all that jazz.
So here I am, informing you. Actually, AlterNet is informing you based on some in-depth Craigslist perusing and fetish-friendly online dating profiles. I’m just here to keep it real. So, get ready to let your freak flag fly — it’s acceptable and downright preferable — in these ten cities. Let the sex games begin!
#10 San Francisco Back in 2004, District Attorney spokesperson Debbie Melosh said, “Being naked in San Francisco is not a crime.” Take their annual Folsom Street Fair, which “draws upward of 400,000 people each year, and covers 13 city blocks with exhibitions, live dominatrix demos and enough naked men to completely desensitize you for life.” It is the largest leather/fetish event in the world…and must be part of the reason Trojan Condoms ranked SF as the most promiscuous city in the good old U.S. of A.
#9 Chicago The annual International Mr. Leather and Mr. Rubber competitions are held here. Too bad George Clooney didn’t enter with his codpiece when he played Batman. Crying shame, that is.
#8 Southern New Mexico/Southern West Virginia The AlterNet people are not morons. They do realize these are regions, not cities. But they ranked highly on R. Luke DuBois’ Kinky States of America maps, so they’ve earned a spot somehow or another.
#7 Austin Men’s Health voted Texas’ hipster haven the most sex-friendly city in America. Which, presumably, is why it made the list. But is hipster sex good sex? I couldn’t tell you — but I know that it involves plaid and probably rolled cigarettes.
#6 New York Apparently Manhattan isn’t quite the den of hedonism I expected it to be. But I lived there — and if you want dark, nefarious corners to do dark, nefarious deeds, there’s always something open. Even at 5 in the morning. And by the way, the Lower East Side Toy Company doesn’t really sell toys.
#5 Atlanta Hotlanta. Hm. Check please.
#4 Hurley, Wisconsin Believe it or not, there is one strip club per every 238 residents in this tiny Wisconsin town (six total). I’m not sure how these joints are staying in business. Maybe Canadians fly down to avoid the Spearmint Rhino.
#3 Las Vegas Sin City. XXX. Need I say more?
#2 New Orleans The Big Easy got its name for a reason — and I’m pretty sure it has something to do with all those ‘drop my clothes for Mardi Gras‘ beads Tulane co-eds.
#1 Roselawn, Indiana Are you shocked? You should be. Indiana doesn’t seem to be the hub of kink-dom, but it’s earned its spot thanks to its bumpin’ and grindin’ nudist resort and annual “Nudes-A-Poppin” pageant. Think up your own punchline to that one.
So there you have it. Do with this information what you will…but if any of y’all engage in furry activity like Turtle did on Entourage, I don’t want to know about it. You can’t defile the Easter Bunny, people!