Credit: CBS News

Touchdown! This research is real, y’all

Most men and yes, some women, have recently compiled their fantasy football draft picks, and a slew of Pennsylvania-based researchers have done the same, albeit in a slightly different way. The Wall Street Journal (see, this shit is legit!) enlisted the help of analysts at Ursinus College in Collegeville, PA to study the facial symmetry of guys in the NFL. For each of the 32 teams in the league, the scientists picked five dudes in offense, five in defense, the head coach and team owner, and ran their photos through a computer program. So mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the hottest team of all?

Credit: CBS News

If you’re a fan of the Buffalo Bills or the team’s players, you’re in luck: they have the top hot spot, as it were.

“My wife will be shocked,” Coach Chan Gailey told the Journal. Can’t say I’d disagree with her.

And which team is the least attractive of all — at least according to computers, science and symmetry? That would be the Kansas City Chiefs.

Credit: CBS News

Weirdly enough though, it’s impossible to call any of the football teams ugly. As a whole, the players were 10% hotter than an average guy. Remember, we’re talking about faces here, not muscles, so this is kind of a shock. Apparently, I’m not alone in thinking so.

“I am surprised that NFL players are so symmetrical to begin with given the roughness of the sport,” Dr. Coren L. Apicella, research fellow at Harvard Medical School, and co-author of a 2008 paper on facial symmetry’s role in sexual selection, told CBS News in an email. “All it takes is one brutal game to turn a pretty face into a lopsided one.”

All I can say is thank God this study didn’t determine the attractiveness of rugby players!


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3 Responses
  1. Robbie says:

    Bills fans are good looking too. I can prove that theory.
    Just sayin.

  2. [...] The discovery was made, of course, using lab rats. Genetically engineered mice were unable to make a protein called lipcalin-2 and reacted more severely than other animals. The mice lacking protein had fewer ‘mushroom-shaped’ junctions key to consolidating memories, the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reports. [...]

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