A guy’s point of view by LoveTrekker guest columnist, Love, Lust and Relationships author Eric J. Leech
In a world of single’s bars and dating websites, sex is like fries, and a relationship is like the extra pickles. When he’s at a drive-thru, and the attendant asks, would you like fries with that, he’ll say, hell yeah. However, the extra pickle is something that he may need to develop a taste for. The problem with today’s man, is a woman can’t even ask him if he would like extra pickles, because she knows he’ll probably say no. Women have to slip the pickles in his bag when he’s not looking. Then, before he knows it, he’ll be eating pickles every night, and living happily ever after.
However, it doesn’t always work out this way.
The problem with this scenario, is that men have learned that fries don’t come cheap, unless they’re included in a value meal. This comes with all the trimmings, which also includes the extra pickles. Many guys will take the value pack just for the fries, and sneak the pickles into his napkin to throw away later when she’s not looking. This brings us to the question, how can you tell when a guy a faking his pickle, just to get at the fries?
The Late Night Booty Call
I Shouldn’t even have to mention this, but based on a discussion I overheard from a group of women at a holiday party last week, I think this is not always as obvious as I would have thought. These women in question, were complaining about their boyfriends (if you can call them that), only wanted to hang out really late at night. Yes, there is a reason for this, and it is not because he’s just too busy. He is waiting until everything else is closed, and there are only two options available to him, which includes either playing a midnight session of Parcheesi, or having sex. It’s too bad most women don’t own a Parcheesi board.
Hot & Cold
The male hanging-fly heats up his relationships by offering his ladies a gift in the form of a silk wrapped insect. She is usually so excited; she offers herself to him. When he is finished, he collects his gift while she is still dazed, and heads across to the next available female. This hot and cold dating style begins with a guy complimenting you, giving flowers, and doting over you like a six-pack of gold impregnated beer. Once you’re hooked on his charm, however, and have given him what he wants, he loses interest, blows you off, and you’ll be left wondering what you did wrong. Then when you least expect it, he’ll come back, and the cycle will start over again. Beware of any man who starts the relationship in fifth gear. Guys who are in it for sex, have no patience for a lukewarm dating intro.
The Signs Your Golden Fries Are Really All He’s After
He’s Narcissistic - These types of guys have no interest in equality. It will always be about, he, himself, and his best friend… I. You will notice that is will always be about how you fit into his schedule, or how you ease into the weekend plans he has already planned? He has no interest in creating a long-lasting relationship, but just enjoying your sex for as long as its convenient for him.
Mood Swings- These guys are like brats in a toy store, whining to their mommy to buy them something. This will usually occur sometime directly after the moment you first decline his advances for one reason or another (that time of the month, headache, or the realization that he just might be a creep).
He’s Not a Nervous Nelly, But Rather a Gerard Grabby Pants
Women who read romance novels have a picture of the perfect guy, which may include the traits of dark, handsome, mysterious, suave, confident, and in control. Beyond the dark and handsome, most of these signs belong to a player. When a guy is really interested in a girl, he is often nervous, chatty (or aloof), and uncool. The player is never anxious, because he has nothing to lose. If he oversteps his bounds, you’ll get up and walk away, and he’ll slide over to the next available woman.
How to Drive a Man Sexually, Without Making that the Only Thing He’s Interested in
While some men are just jerks, there are a couple ways that a woman can drive him sexually, without making that the only thing he is interested in. Most research suggests that showing approximately 40 percent of skin is the right amount to peak a guy’s interest, but keep his second head from taking over the situation. Many men have good intentions, but if she is halfway nude (50 percent skin), he will go into conquer mode, and getting sex will be the only thing on his mind.
Men like the chase, which means that a woman can never really be completely his. You can be faithful, but there should always be an unsaid understanding that you have certain expectations, and if those are not met, you’re not interested. On the other side of the coin, some women take this too far, becoming too difficult to get, and end up with a slew of really desperate, offensive guys. The best way to play hard to get, it to give a guy the assumption that you are normally very difficult, but for him, you have made an exception. This will make him feel special, and at the same time give him reason to be on his best behavior, so that he does not lose his premier position of being front in line!
Eric J. Leech is the author of Love, Lust and Relationships