David Levithan’s book is beautiful — buy it immediately

Rarely do I read a book and think: God, I wish I had written that. It’s hard to be unique sometimes when you’re talking about love. We’ve all been through painful breakups, we’ve all fallen head over heels and most of us have fallen in love at first sight. But David Levithan has managed to do something radical: he chronicled his current relationship using (somewhat) obscure words in his new book, The Lover’s Dictionary. He readily admits that he isn’t quite certain where, how or when, exactly, he knew it was love, but he knows how betrayed he felt when his partner cheated on him, how unthinkable it seemed. I feel like it’s my duty to repost some of the Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist author’s feelings here — because I’ve been where he’s been, I’ve felt what he’s felt…and so have you.

Abberant, adj.

“I don’t normally do this kind of thing,” you said.

“Neither do I,” I assured you.

Later it turned out we had both met people online before, and we had both slept with people on first dates before, and we had both found ourselves falling too fast before. But we comforted ourselves with what we really meant to say, which was: “I don’t normally feel this good about what I’m doing.”

Measure the hope of the moment, that feeling.

Everything else will be measured against it.

Abyss, n.

There are times when I doubt everything. When I regret everything you’ve taken form me, everything I’ve given to you, and the waste of all the time I’ve spent on us.

Basis, n.

There has to be a moment at the beginning when you wonder whether you’re in love with the person or in love with the feeling of love itself.

If the moment doesn’t pass, that’s it — you’re done.

And if the moment does pass, it never goes that far .It stands in the distance, ready for whenever you want it back. Sometimes it’s even there when you thought you were searching for something else, like an escape route, or your lover’s face.

Fraught, adj.

Does every “I love you” deserve an “I love you too”? Does every kiss deserve a kiss back? Does every night deserve to be spent on a lover?

If the answer to any of these is “No,” what do we do?

Neophyte n.

There are millions upon millions of people who have been through this before — why is it that no one can give me good advice?

Stanchion, n.

I don’t want to be the strong one, but I don’t want to be the weak one, either. Why does it feel like it’s always one or the other? When we embrace, one of us is always holding the other a little tighter.