But it’s not prostitution

For the extremely low price of $25,000, one of two Brooklyn baristas can be yours. Specifically, you’ll have their hands in marriage — which will NOT be consummated, let the record show. But who needs sex when you can get 15% off of your next cake?

Johanna Hickey, a barista at Beny’s Delice, says that she and co-worker Michael Newton already feel like the ‘husband and wife’ of their community, and believes they haven’t quite capitalized on their money-making potential.

“We already feel like the husband and wife of this community,”she told The Local. “A lot of people start and end their day with us, like a married couple.”

Thus, the two decided to put up a sign reading: “for only $25,000 YOU can marry the barista of your choice…Plus 15% off your next CAKE!”

Unfortunately, Hickey might as well be saying “Let them eat cake!” for all she cares about the sexual frustration of a would-be husband.  “We’re not doing this for the wrong reasons, it’s not prostitution,” she stated, adding that what a spouse would get out of “our social strengths as a life companion.”

Yes, it’s probably a joke (I mean, I hope it is) because honestly guys…who’s going to buy the cow when you can’t even pay to drink the milk?