It’s finally time to celebrate the singletons!

If you’re sick of hearing people ask when you’re ready to settle down  (as if you don’t want to DUH you smug married jerks) then hallelujah! – your time has arrived: September 16-22nd is National Singles Week!

Oh yes, this is a holiday that actual exists. As per the U.S. Census Bureau, Singles week was started in the 1980′s by a group called the  Buckeye Singles Council to – you got it – celebrate being single. Thus, joy in being unattached and ready to mingle was born…at least for one week out of the year.

But here’s my question: why shouldn’t we celebrate being single year-round? Why is there one specific week in our honor, like we’re some kind of social pariahs?

Being single means never having to clean your partner’s underwear, cook his dinner, check in so he knows where you are and what you’re doing at all hours. It means never having to worry that your partner is jealous while you’re off getting crunked and dancing the night away in Las Vegas. It means never having to say “I’m sorry.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being in a relationship. I love relationships. I’m just saying, why can’t we all just be happy with what we have when we have it? There are uspides and downsides to everything, and that includes our relationship statuses.

And – hypothetically speaking of course – should you have the opportunity to ever hook up with Ryan Gosling, all you married/attached folks are shit out of luck. Just saying.