If I said I didn’t know how I felt about a new wedding trend, I’d be lying. It’s called the “naked wedding” for a reason, and those saying ‘I do’ do so in their birthday suits. I mean, whatever floats your boat, right? But don’t make your guests watch!
One of said nuptials got some play on the ‘net this week, and that is the story of Nick and Wendy Lowe. The two tied the knot at New Zealand’s Wellington Naturist Club completely lacking clothes. Of the 120 guests who attended, half decided to dress as freely as the bride and groom. The other half were noticeably a bit more hesitant to flaunt their birthday suits.
Before I get into my rant on why this is a very bad idea (for most people), I’ll present more facts. National Geographic reported on a mass nude wedding — nine couples — on Jamaica’s Negril Beach last year.The couples wore nothing but veil and bow ties.
One bride said of the experience: “So may things run through your mind, you know. ‘Oh my God, I should’ve started working out.’”
Says the report: “Some photo studios are just going too far. They allow young women to have their photos taken in bikinis or with nothing on at all. I hope the authorities will do something.”
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that, while I don’t ever want to be as bitter as that woman, a naked wedding is something I personally never wish to attend. I don’t want to see my friends naked, I don’t want my friends to see me naked and I certainly don’t wish to see ALL my friends naked at a naked friends wedding.
Phew. That was a mouthful.
It goes beyond body issues for me, and this seems like a no-fly zone among friends. Once you’ve seen each other in the buff, you can’t really go back. In fact, I’m willing to bet that in some cases, it opens up cans of worms that really should have remained closed for the sheer anticipation of a fishy smelling.
Those of you hell-bent on at least viewing such a spectacle once in your life should highly suggest Aoraki Naturally in New Zealand, the Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs, Calif., hiring Naked Weddings USA in Las Vegas, doing the deed on Haulover Beach in Miami or booking a weekend stay at the N Resort in Jamaica. All such places cater to the nudist crowd.
Just saying, if anyone ever invites me to a nude wedding, I’m not going. And if you force me, I’m wearing an eye mask…or ten.