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Picture this: you’re traveling solo, en route to the airport. You’ve stopped at Hudson News to purchase a few magazines, sneakily shuffling Us Weekly in between the folds of Time and U.S. News & World Report and head over to sit while you wait for your flight. Though you should be focusing on all the worthy (ahem) reading material before you, you can’t help but do a quick scan of the room. Hello! Who is that handsome stranger with the excellent behind standing just two aisles away? Is he looking at you? How can you make this happen? What if he’s ‘the one’?

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ABC

Who would you date?

I know I tend to write a lot of shizzle about The Bachelor without ever having truly watched it, but that’s because I’m truly fascinated by it. 25 men/women vying for the attention of one ‘Bachelor’ or ‘Bachelorette’, who, by the way, is probably making out with at least half of his or her wannabe loves. In the words of the great Peter Griffin (of Family Guy fame), it really grinds my gears when I see any of these clowns pledge eternal love on a TV show…and give those that have ‘made the cut’ a ROSE of all things to advance to the next round. How trite and corny can you get? These people obviously haven’t heard of Dorothy Parkermore…

On August 26, 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. gave his infamous “I Have A Dream Speech.” And although his dream is vastly different from mine — being that I’m a somewhat childish 31-year-old Caucasian relationship writer (who, in fact, threw a princess party last night complete with paper baby shower shot glasses), I’m still going to honor Mr. King today by discussing my dream. You should all know what that is by now: love. more…

Are you getting lucky this new year? Depends on where you live!

If you rang in the new year depressed and alone, ashing a limp cigarette into your party hat and moaning about the fact that you didn’t have anyone to kiss under the wilting (but still hopeful) mistletoe at midnight, chin up — it’s a new year! Although I hope your resolution isn’t to find a boyfriend (obviously, you want Mr. Right, not Mr. Right for Right Now), I can’t control what you do, where you go, or where you might move in the name of love (I moved to London for love in my infancy at the tender age of 23, so I can hardly talk). The Daily Beast has quite thoughtfully put together a hit list for 2012 of the best American cities to find a romantic partner in crime in the new year. They’ve factored in the number of singles per area using Census data from 2008-2010, ratio of women to men, cost of living data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and the mental and emotional health of the respective cities residents from the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. So in case you were wondering, “Well, who died and made those Beasts king of all romantic knowledge?” well, I’d say they’ve made a pretty strong case for their results. So get on with your bad selves this year and prepare to do some traveling…especially to Nebraska. Weird, I know, but trust me…those boys are smokin’ hot. On that happy note, I wish you loads of luck. I also wish you’d remove yourself from your sad slump and pop open a bottle of champagne STAT. Getting depressed over stupid boys — or even a lack of one — is so 2011.

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Photo: Superman Escape From Krypton ride at Six Flags Magic Mountain

The moral of the story: love should be simple

I might be one of the only 30-year-women on the planet who has a passion for amusement parks. Chalk it up to having an active inner child or the thrill-seeker in me who casually cheats death time and time again by going on speed defying roller coasters. Whatever the reason, I’m into acting like a big kid and, after hitting up three amusement parks in the last two weeks, I think I’ve realized why: when we were young, love was simple. more…

Art: Chemistry.com

Where in America can you get it on in public — and where is it an absolute no-no to show affection?

I don’t know about you, but I’m the  first person to cringe when I see a couple in the midst of a hot-and-heavy PDA session (that’s public display of affection for you plebes) and the first person to be all about indulging in one (with a boyfriend, of course). It’s a good thing then that my latter self lives in California, a state which happens to be A-OK with PDA, according to a survey by Chemistry.com. But where else can you smooch your other half out in the open, and where should you avoid getting handsy with your man? more…

Hear what Cosmopolitan magazine has to say. If they’re right, my next stop is…right here at home in Los Angeles?

Drum roll, please. This is big news! A new study conducted by the University of Michigan professes to know the best places to meet men in America. I’m a bit skeptical. OK, so the study — which is featured in this month’s issue of Cosmopolitan magazine — simply states where the odds for meeting men are most stacked in our favor. But that doesn’t take into account that these guys could be gay, fugly or completely nuts, right? Still, I’m ever so glad that Salt Lake City is my next lovetrekking destination! more…